Reclaim Valentine’s Day!

Saint Valentine’s Day is a tradition that originated as a Christian feast day, also known in history as the Feast of Saint Valentine.[i]

These days, Valentine’s Day has become highly commercialised – which leads us to question whether it is about love or money.

There are other cultures that place money over and above love. For instance, watch this humorous (and very accurate) piss-take on Chinese ‘money-culture’ by comedian Ronny Chieng.


Chinese New Year and Valentine’s Day this year fall within days of each other, so it is indeed timely to reflect on an essential cultural difference that should give Valentine’s Day - and love - a higher priority in Papua New Guinea.

After all, Papua New Guinea is predominantly a Christian country[ii] and the concept of love is central to Christianity.

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. (John 4:7-12 ESV) 

What is a gift?

A gift is an expression of love. It’s not something that is necessarily something that money can buy. A gift’s meaning is far more important than the cost. Why? Simply because a gift without meaning is meaningless. Worse is, no gift at all. So, choose and give carefully, because unrequited, misdirected or insincere love sucks and you can smell it a mile away.

Valentine’s Day in history

Let’s go back over 400 years to Shakespeare’s Hamlet for a reference to Valentine’s Day in a song by Ophelia. Written and performed around the year 1600, in Shakespeare’s play Ophelia is driven insane by her lover’s (Hamlet’s) uncaring, cruel and erratic behaviour.   

To-morrow is Saint Valentine's day,
All in the morning betime,
And I a maid at your window,
To be your Valentine.
Then up he rose, and donn'd his clothes,
And dupp'd the chamber-door;
Let in the maid, that out a maid
Never departed more.[iii]

Ophelia’s song plays on two senses of the word “maid”. A maid (young woman) came to a boy's home to be his Valentine, and when she left, she was no longer a “maid” (i.e., a virgin).[iv] 

She had given herself to Prince Hamlet but he was preoccupied with bigger issues. It is fair to say the ‘Tragedie of Hamlet’ also shows how corruption (the opposite of love) can destroy people and relationships. [v]

Things didn’t work out well between Ophelia and Hamlet, and for reasons too many to mention here, she inevitably takes her own life.

10 meaningful expressions of love

On a more positive note, here are some tips for re-thinking Valentine’s Day.

1. Music

Quote: “Love is friendship set to music” (Jackson Pollock, artist)

Gift ideas: from portable speakers, musical instruments to self-penned songs if you are musically-inclined. Music is the universal language of love.

2. Dining

Quote: “My weaknesses have always been food and men - in that order.” (Dolly Parton, country music legend)

Gift ideas: eating at home or at a local restaurant. If you are planning a romantic dinner with your loved one, then perhaps invite one or two other couples, or friends to keep the conversation alive – otherwise you risk awkward silences between courses! Food and love go hand in hand. Enjoy it with friends.

3. Travel

Quote: “Hospitality is simply an opportunity to show love and care.” (source unknown)

Gift ideas: keep it simple and well-planned. Avoid air travel, as the last thing you need are flight cancellations or delays. Travel somewhere close to home – a walk, a hike, a picnic or a nice hotel as an escape.

4. Art

Quote: “Art must be an expression of love or it is nothing” (Marc Chagall, artist).

Gift ideas: there are plenty of markets around to buy nice PNG art. In buying local you are also sharing the love by supporting the local informal economy.  

Why not get creative and make your own art? Try the Davinci app to turn your words into artworks. For watercolors try the Waterlogue app. For portraits try the Portrait Painter app. To transfer any photo to a painting try Adobe PaintCan. These are free apps – and nowadays just about anyone can create a gift.

5. Gaming

Quote: “A couple that plays together stays together.” (source unknown)

Gift ideas: Don’t think of a video game console as the end of a relationship. Make it a shared passion. Check our recent blog on Sony PlayStation 5.

“Thankfully, multiplayer games are once again at the forefront of the best games on PS5.” 

Learn more here

If video gaming is not your thing, then try Scrabble (great for improving your vocab and spelling), chess (great for strategic thinking), jigsaw puzzles, or even a simple deck of playing cards. Visit any toy shop for more ideas! For outdoors, there’s games like tennis, hiking, badminton, or French Pétanque (boules).

6. Technology

Quotes: “Technology is best when it brings people together.” (Matt Mullenweng, founder of Wordpress)

“Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.” (Arthur C. Clarke, Sci-fi author)

Gift ideas: from kitchen gadgets like blenders and juicers, to coffee makers; audio-visual devices. Technology has something for everyone and the ability to bring people together – whether it is a shared love of food or entertainment, or whether it’s used to find or bind a relationship, modern technology is indeed a gift from God that ‘brings people together’!

7. Books

Quotes: “Every great love starts with a story.” (Nicholas Sparks, romance novelist)

“A half-read book is a half-finished love affair.” (David Mitchell, novelist)

Gift ideas: Amazon and Kindle have made books more accessible than ever. Once again, it is due to technology. A tablet preloaded with the free Kindle app plus a few good books is an ideal gift for book-lovers.

Learn more here

Next level for aspiring writers… eBooks are published in PNG by local company TLA Media Ltd. Imagine publishing your own eBook (novel, or poetry) dedicated to your loved one/s!

Contact: admin@tlamediagroup.com  

8. Flowers

Quotes: “Love is like wildflowers; it's often found in the most unlikely places." (Ralph Waldo Emerson, American essayist)

“Love is the flower. You’ve got to let it grow.” (John Lennon, singer-songwriter, musician, Beatle)

Gift ideas: flowers, like chocolates are the unthinking person’s response to Valentine’s Day. So, why not get creative? Don’t just give cut flowers that will die within days. Give a living plant and watch it grow as a symbol of your love. There are many plant nurseries around PNG that can help you choose the right indoor or outdoor plant.  

Now check this out! Lego has come up with a cool gift idea, in their Botanical Collection. [vi]

Here is a review from Amazon:

"In a nutshell, the LEGO Flower Bouquet set is a loving and creative gesture that guarantees a smile. It's a testament to your relationship that stays fresh and blooming. Overall: 9.5/10 – A fantastic, fun-filled gift that keeps on giving!"

Cynics would say that Lego created the Flower Bouquet set primarily for commercial reasons. Wrong. The product was created primarily out of passion and love – commercial viability is only a reward.

“Designing the Flower Bouquet set took LEGO Designer Anderson Grubb back to childhood visits to his grandmother’s bright, blossom-filled garden in Glenville, West Virginia, USA.” [vii]

9. Health

Quote: “Three things in life - your health, your mission, and the people you love. That’s it.” (Naval Ravikant, American entrepreneur)

Gift ideas: The greatest gift you can give someone you love is the best version of yourself. If you have room for improvement then there is no better day to proclaim a change than Valentine’s Day.

Oh, and pets are also a great. A pet could be a healthy stress-relieving addition to a relationship and/or family, provided you are committed to making the new relationship work. There are many pets that would love a new home.

Check out our local RSPCA here: https://rspca.org.pg/adopt/

10. Just be yourself

Quote: “To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.” (Oscar Wilde, An Ideal Husband, 1895)

Quote: “To thine own self be true.” (Once again, from Shakespeare’s Hamlet. Act 1, Scene 3)

Gift ideas: Single? As a Christian you are never alone. Be kind to yourself (and others). Treat yourself on Valentine’s Day. Indulge in the things you love the most.

In this context, the final word goes to English Romantic poet John Keats, who seemed to know exactly what he loved when he wrote to his sister in 1819:

“Give me books, French wine, fruit, fine weather and a little music played out of doors by somebody I do not know.”

[i] For a full history of Valentine’s Day see Wikipedia https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Valentine%27s_Day

[ii] According to the most recent census in 2011, 98 percent of citizens identified as Christian. Source: https://www.state.gov/reports/2022-report-on-international-religious-freedom/papua-new-guinea/

[iii] William Shakespeare, Hamlet, Act IV, Scene 5

[iv] Source: https://myshakespeare.com/hamlet/act-4-scene-5-popup-note-index-item-maid

[v] “Something is rotten in the state of Denmark” (Act 1, scene iv). Learn more about Hamlet https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hamlet

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